STAR TREK: NEMESIS - 2002
Rating: USA - PG
Human cloning is a hot topic. It represents cutting edge bio-tech and generates strong
opinions from a great many people. So they decided to make a Star Trek
movie about a clone. Three hundred years in the future, when cloning will
be as cutting edge as the cotton gin.
I HATE THIS UTILITARIAN DECK! THE FEDERATION GIVES ITS SHIPS NICE CARPETING.
WHY CAN'T WE HAVE A NICE CARPET? WHY CAN'T WE EVER HAVE NICE THINGS?
STAR TREK: NEMESIS was directed by Stuart Baird* (EXECUTIVE DECISION) and written by John Logan (THE TIME MACHINE), based on a story by Mr. Logan, Rick Berman (STAR TREK: Insurrection, STAR TREK: First Contact, STAR TREK: Next Generation [TV]), and Brent Spiner (his
first writing credit, but you know him as Lt. Commander Data).
I'll tell you up front that I really wanted to like this movie, partly
because I'm a Trekkie and partly because I heard that the screenwriter,
John Logan, is also a Trekkie. Because Gladiator won so many awards, Mr.
Logan is considered an A list writer and his agent advised
him against writing a Star Trek movie, but like any true fan he just couldn't
The story opens in the Romulan Imperial Senate. For those unfamiliar, the three
super powers in this part of the galaxy are the Federation (us
the good guys), The Klingon Empire (former enemies but currently Federation allies) and the Romulans (the
bad guys). There are two inhabited worlds in the Romulan system:
the planets Romulus and Remus. (Note: These are our names for their worlds the actual names in their own language
are different, of course). Romulus is clearly the dominant world
and culture, since it's the one that built a galaxy spanning empire.
The Federation doesn't know much about the species that lives on
Remus; just that it's a harsh world, which has produced harsh people.
COOL MINT LISTERINE GIVES YOU THE CONFIDENCE TO GET YOUR SPACESHIPS ... THIS CLOSE!
The Romulan Senate is debating a petition by the military to allow a Reman leader
named Shinzon (Tom Hardy) to join them in attacking the Federation. The Senate denies the request and the Generals
leave, along with one of the senators, who leaves an odd device behind
on her desk. It's not a bomb it's much worse. Next thing
you know, the empire needs a new government.
HERE, BROTHER: THIS SHOULD MAKE YOU SMARTER. AND IF NOT, IT SHOULD AT LEAST GET YOU TO SHUT UP.
We cut to a happy event: the wedding of Commander Riker
(Jonathan Frakes^: STAR TREK: First Contact)
and Counselor Deanna Troi
(Marina Sirtis^: WAXWORK II, TERMINAL ERROR, STAR TREK: First Contact).
(Patrick Stewart: STAR TREK: First Contact, THE X-MEN,
CONSPIRACY THEORY, SAFE HOUSE)
is the best man and gives a witty speech. Lt. Commander Worf
(Michael Dorn^: DEMON SEED, THE PROPHET'S GAME, STAR
TREK: First Contact),
Lt. Commander Geordi La Forge
(Levar Burton: THE SUPERNATURALS, STAR
TREK: First Contact),
Lt. Commander Data
(Brent Spiner^: SHOCKER, STAR TREK: First Contact)
and Dr. Beverly Crusher
(Gates McFadden: STAR TREK: First Contact, THE HUNT FOR RED OCTOBER) are in attendance. We learn that Riker and Troi are about to leave the
Enterprise because Riker finally has a command of his own. Data is to
be promoted to first officer.
Captain Picard gets a call from Admiral Janeway (Kate Mulgrew: REMO WILLIAMS) who tells him that the new leader of the Romulan
Empire, the aforementioned Shinzon, wants to meet with a representative
of the Federation and Picard is closest. Off they go.
OKAY, SO YOU'RE MY CLONE: BUT I WOULD HAVE NEVER HAD COLLAGEN
LIP INJECTIONS. PLUS THOSE SHOULDER PADS MAKE YOU LOOK RIDICULOUS.
AND WHAT'S WITH THOSE STUPID...
any of that can happen the crew detects a "positronic signal"
from an uncharted planet near the Neutral Zone (the
Federation-Romulan border). The only other thing known to give
off such a signal is Lt. Commander Data's positronic brain (with
thanks to Drs. Daystrom and Asimov). A minor adventure and some
cool action sequences lead to the discovery of "B4", another
android made by Dr. Sung, Data's creator/father. This version was
clearly a prototype and although identical to Data in appearance, he's
not very bright. Think "Data Gump."
And yes, as I and the TV ads have hinted, Shinzon is in fact a clone of Picard.
Now how a human ended up in the dilithium mines of Remus, led a revolt
among the mining slaves and took over the Romulan Empire is an interesting
story. A long, kind of interesting, but ultimately so exposition heavy
a story that my mind began to wander and I started thinking about what to
pick up at the store on the way home from the theater. Not a good sign.
OKAY, SO THERE'S REALLY NOTHING HAPPENING IN THIS SCENE. BUT ANY
EXCUSE IS A GOOD EXCUSE TO SHOW OFF MARINA SIRTIS! WOO HOO!
is always a good sign! The show had plenty of the usual gaffs, like sound
in space (Quick Plug for "Firefly" on FOX, the only SF series EVER to get it right there is no sound in space). But I want to comment on something more general.
As I mentioned before, this is supposed to be 300 years in the future.
Think about what the world was like three centuries ago, not just in terms
of technology but attitudes, beliefs, everything. My point is that for
such a long time in the future, not much has changed. Other than a few
magical plot devices like warp drive and transporters, their tech looks
very familiar. I have a flat screen monitor just as good as the Captain
uses. Maybe a little more imagination is in order? Just a thought.
And mining slaves? That's a bad sci-fi staple but it's not very well thought out.
A culture like the Romulan Empire wouldn't use slaves to mine ore.
This has nothing to do with morality; it's simply, vastly, more efficient
to use automated mining equipment than slaves.
There are some good scenes and there's a pretty cool space battle, but I'm
not the first person to say that STAR TREK: NEMESIS is more like a really good episode of the series
than a major motion picture (I am the first person
to say it ..."officially" -feo). But even there I have
objections. Worf is one of my favorite characters but clearly screenwriter
John Logan doesn't think much of him. He has a few terse lines and
serves as the butt of a few jokes but that's all. A waste of a good
character and a good actor.
MARINA SIRTIS SIGNING STAR TREK: NEMESIS POSTERS AT THE 2002 SAN DIEGO COMIC CON! WOO HOO!
Plus, I have to take points away for switching from the phasers we know and love to
Star Wars style blasters (right down to the sound effects) and for the poorly done goblin-like make-up for the Reman
characters. But I add some points back for the Reman viceroy, played by
excellent character actor Ron Perlman (SLEEPWALKERS, CRONOS, THE CITY OF LOST CHILDREN, THE ISLAND OF DR. MOREAU
, ALIEN: Resurrection,
BLADE II, HELLBOY). I didn't
know he was in this movie and I swear, the second he came on screen (in
full Reman make-up), before he said a word, I recognized him: He
just has that kind of face.
After all the points are added and subtracted the end result is three shriek girls.
I really wanted it to be more, but what is, is.
copyright 2002 E.C.McMullen Jr.
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As a director, Stuart Baird is just starting out, but his long career
as an editor is impressive! In the 1970s he gained a solid reputation
for editing such nightmarish classics as
ALICE COOPER: WELCOME TO MY NIGHTMARE,
In the 1980s, he edited
the HBO TV show,
TALES FROM THE CRYPT.
In the 1990s he edited
Not many Star Trek movies fall into the category of Thriller, but this one did
All of these actors also do voices for the animated series, GARGOYLES
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